Funny Little Robot
This is review the world has been waiting for. Finally an opinion worth copying. Yes, it's the Funny Little Men's definitive take on "Wall-e", the latest Pixar movie. As always, people from everywhere are looking to copy our infallible insights in order to sound clever at the next social gathering.
But first...
We should point out we went to see it with the whole Funny Little Men crew. Everybody, from the boss to the janitor. A company outing, paid for by the company. Great, isn't it? Very generous of the boss. We're very grateful, no complaints, oh no. But still... why did it have to be in the Trocadero of all places? Just because the boss thinks they've got good ice-cream there? Granted, the coconut ice cream was good. It had lots of bits in it. We're in favour of ice cream with bits. But let's be honest, there's other places where you can get good ice cream. On our way to the Trocadero, we walked past a Ben & Jerry's and a Haagen Dazs. Surely, they've got ice-cream with bits too? Haagen Dazs does an excelent cheese cake one. Mmm, cheese cake...
Anyway, coconut ice-cream or no coconut ice-cream, the Trocadero is Satan's little lair in London. No wait, that's too subtle. The Trocadero is a f*****g shit-hole. Yeah, that's more like it. And yes, that's the first time you've heard the otherwise restrained Funny Little Men swear online.
The cinema had a carpet that represents the memory of some long forgotten board-meeting where the brightest interior design won the day. We bet the presentation didn't show what it would look like covered in squashed popcorn or soda stains. Neither was there any mention of how this carpet, if not cleaned, would lend an airless quality to the space in general. In the corner there were a few brightly coloured ticket vending machines with hand-written notes stuck on them informing us they were broken. As if that wasn't bad enough, there were no numbered seats, even though the whole place was sold out. We were lucky to be sitting together, all one of us.
On to Wall-e then. What is it like? First of all, it's not a "single" film. By that, we mean a film that works as one, solid block with a single vision. The sort of quality you expect from a Miyazaki movie or a Brad Bird movie. It doesn't have that. So we're left with having to review the separate bits.
PART I
This is the part everybody goes on about. And with good reason. We like to think it's mainly down to very good cinematography. The guy who directed this film, Andrew Stanton, has shown himself to be an excellent cameraman and should be recognised as such. Far too often, camera work in 3D has been piss-poor compared to life action films. In fact, you can extend that to the photography in general. This may sound all a bit rich, coming from the people who brought you "Boxing Kitty" which has only a soft sky-light and no exiting camera work to speak of. But we like to think of it as "restrained".
Wait, did we just digress to talk about or own artistic output? And in the middle of a Pixar review too boot.
So, since the first thirty minutes or are just about Wall-e, the hero, driving around in this wasteland, what's he like? Well, he's cute, in that Disney/Pixar sort of way. We weren't bowled over, there wasn't anything exceptional about him (other than the technical execution), no sharp edge to his personality or anything. A rose without thorns. EVE, his love interest, is much more interesting. She's a killer-bot that shoots anything that moves and continues throughout the film to shoot at whatever problem she comes across.
PART II
And then we're in space. Lots of new robots get introduced. We didn't care about them, we couldn't tell them apart. Humans get introduced, we didn't care about them either. The storyline is that they have to inform the people on the space-ship that they can return to earth since there's plant have started to grow again. But the ships computer is rather happy floating in space forever and doesn't want to go. We're not too sure why, but ships computers are always evil, so suck it up. Cue lots of running around, trying to outwit the ships computer. And in the end, they make it. And we didn't care. Some of the backgrounds were pretty amazing though.
So is it a good film? Naah. But the set-pieces are pretty spectacular.
On our way out, we came across this little "gem". Turns out there's a shop in the Trocadero where they sell this sort of stuff (you'll have to click on the link, we didn't want to pollute this page with that picture). The shop is suitably dingy and confirms all our worst fears about all things Manga/Anime. Right next to that little character, there was another one, portraying an underaged character in the same outfit. Oh dear.
Wait, did we just bring on the subject of Manga and Anime again? And in the middle of a Pixar review too boot.
Funny Little Men will be Funny Little Men...